What Do You Want
DESIRE ASSESSMENT
Desire Assessment
Most of us make hundreds of decisions a day without really knowing why. Our motivations tend to lurk beneath the surface. Even when we’re conscious of the push and pull as we make a decision, it is often a surface desire masking something deeper and more true to who we are. Proverbs 20:5 reminds us that “the purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” (NIV)
Drawing out your core desires will take time, effort, and reliance on guidance from God’s Spirit. This assessment will help you explore with the Spirit what’s motivating your decisions. Take a few moments and pray, asking God to help draw out the deep waters inside you.
Today’s Desires
Take some time and reflect on your day. If it’s early, perhaps think through yesterday instead. Make a list of the choices you made that stand out to you. Then pray through what motivated those decisions.
Example: I didn’t exercise this morning... because I hit the snooze button a few times... because I value feeling rested... because when I’m not rested it’s more difficult to be patient and kind with others. The reason I was tired was because I didn’t go to bed early enough... because there was a unique event my friends were attending. I chose that because I didn’t want to miss out on a community building experience... because I believe those relationships are worth missing one day at the gym. Therefore, I desire and prioritize close relationships and rest.
What was the first thing you gave your attention to when you eventually woke up: your needs, your routines, someone else’s desires, social media, text messages, email, God, or something else? Explore with the Spirit why you made that particular choice.
Think about the different people you’ve interacted with today. How did you treat them? Who did you engage on a relational level? Who did you relate to transactionally? Who did you avoid? What directed each of those choices?
Recent Desires
Take some time to reflect on the past few months. What are some of the things you’ve consistently desired?
Examples: What were the most pivotal choices you made over the past few months? What was the motivation behind them?
What has shaped the way you’ve spent money or planned your schedule? What did you prioritize and procrastinate? Why?
What are you seeking when you engage with family or friends?
General Desires
What decisions have most shaped the trajectory of your life? Do you remember why you made those choices or why you didn’t make different ones?
What aspects of your job give you joy? What are the reasons you chose and continue to choose this particular career path?
What drives you to succeed? Is it simply a way to get money to put food on the table or is there something more?
Why do you carve out time for the hobbies you have? Why do you watch the shows you binge? What desire sparks you to pick up your phone and scroll and post on social media? Are you avoiding something or looking for something?
Why do you invest in the friendships you have? Is there something satisfying on a deeper level that comes from time with certain people? Is there a soul itch that they metaphorically scratch?
Why do you want to be in a dating or marital relationship? Or why are you in the dating relationship or marriage you are in? Why do you want to have kids? Or why did you have them? Why have you put off getting married or having kids?
When was the last time you were inspired? What sparked that passion? Is there a movie or a book that ignites a drive deep inside? What aspect of yourself is it speaking to?
Finish these sentences
Even if my schedule is full I will make time for…
Even if it’s late or I’m exhausted I’ll make sure I…
If there was a fire at home I’d make sure I save…
No matter how tight the budget is I will make room for…
When I’m feeling lonely I first…
Rank the statements that apply to you
They were the right price for my budget
They are the most comfortable
I like the way they make me look/feel
I like the attention I get
They help me avoid attention
I wear the clothes I wear because…
I want to look good
I want to feel better about myself
It helps me cope with stress
I need it for health reasons
It’s a good social outlet
I don’t have the time or energy to exercise
I exercise because…
So I can finally relax
So I have time to catch up on things
To make memories
To spend time with family/friends
It’s where I can finally think about my needs
I don’t look forward to time off
I look forward to time off…
It’s all I have time for
It’s the amount my body needs
I have trouble getting out of bed
I have trouble falling asleep
I’m exhausted from my life
I sleep the amount I do…
Rank order what drives you (1-18)
Rest
Love
Success
Helping
Planning
Respect
Security
Approval
Harmony
Protecting
Connection
Freedom
Enjoyment
Knowledge
Competence
Significance
Independence
Efficiency
How do you think each of your top five align with your created desire for intimacy, maturity, purpose, or life?
Evaluating the Assessment
Take some time to journal processing with God’s Spirit your answers. What are the common themes you’re seeing as you assess what motivates you—what directs and drives your daily and long-term decisions?
